Hello 2011

Hello dear fans, dear readers, admirers, and such. Have you heard the news? Mila Monster is going to be a big sister. Yes, yes you heard it here first. Baby block is due in August. Thank goodness I will be spared the task of raising another one. As it is I have enough on my plate nowadays trying to keep that monster away from me. For some reason she thinks of me as a miniature pony and tries to ride around on my back. I am no rocking horse. I am a glorious dignified creature who caters to no ones whims or fancy. Sigh. Hugs and kisses are welcome of course, but treats and canned food are preferred. Sorry kids, no pony rides at any price.

A post from the long hair

Hello dear friends, family, and followers. . . as of late my so-called adoptive family has abandoned me. I am left to pass the time playing hide and seek with the mila monster, shed my coat on the rugs and stairs, and supervise the daily mail delivery. A few weeks ago I commanded the flowers to bloom, and as expected, they have. So pretty! Can't wait to get out there and hide in my flower forest. As of late I have noticed some heightened activity in the neighborhood. The time of year is fast approaching for the Lilac Fest. How I remember last years events. Long hair was so big and cranky, how could I not remember!
The mila monster has grown so much and unfortunately has encroached on my sleeping territory. I have not been able to sleep on my bed in months! The humans fear my luxurious fur will suffocate her, alas I am banned to the foot of the bed, how ridiculous!
She took her first few steps earlier this month, and has since started walking. Not too impressive, I've been able to walk since I can remember. I honestly do not understand why they make such a big deal of it. Yesterday she got some new toys. A vacuum cleaner (yes vacuum cleaner!) can you believe it, no matter how much the short hair insists its a toy popper, it really is a practice vacuum cleaner! It's a good thing too, because the long hair is going to need all the help she gets, muahahahah..... I will not let their efforts to sweep away my fur deter me.
The mila monster also got a wooden bead thing, not entertaining at all. Why do these humans insist on such dull toys?! I prefer the cardboard box variety myself. Small boxes, short boxes, tall boxes, half boxes, catnip filled boxes, shoe boxes, cereal boxes, boxes that are so small you would think I couldn't possibly fit into but do .. . . i love them all. but my most favorite, dear readers, are those lovely blue Tiffany's boxes. Just a note in case you wanted to get me something special just because I am so fabulous. Prrrrrrrr.. .

all apologies....what else can i say...

I've been a busy little kitty. Today I took a nap next to Mila Monster. We both like to take little naps throughout the day, its our special bonding time. Last month I missed out on the festivities as I was not invited to Miss Mila's baptism. No cats allowed, the nerve! Though my sources did say that her favorite part of the evening was the purple tissue paper. I personally prefer boxes. Boxes and canned food. mmmmmmmmmm.....

she stands...and flops!

hawaii trip 2009 sans moi

Hello again gentle readers! How I love the written word . . . as you humans seem to misunderstand my cat tongue. What you may hear as a simple meow, is actually a complex combination of a stream of utterances, apparently elusive to the human ear. This morning, I had the joy of performing a cat opera, entitled, "The humans are gone and my fortress is mine!" Where, prey-tell, have they gone? In my extreme benevolence, I have sent them to Hawaii. What use do I have of such a trip? Absolutely none, the sun and humidity are not my scene. And salt water does absolutely nothing for my complexion! As I happened to check my e-mail this morning, I can report that the trip is sufficiently satisfactory to my humanoid clan. The mila monster performed superbly on her first trip across our american subcontinent. Yesterday she had a meal of carrots and attempted to drink from a coke can, and a glass of water. She is quite fond of bathing in the glorious shade of a beach umbrella. Gentle readers, I fear I have exhausted my poor paws with this keyboard, although I am extremely dexterous, i fear keyboards were not meant for kitty paws. I bid you adieu until the morrow.

Touched by a monster

Today the unthinkable happened, the Mila Monster pet me. No sir, I didn't like it. At least the short hair guided her hand so she was gentle, but there was something that was unsettling about it. After a few strokes, I could take it no longer and got out of there. Even though I bolted, I felt a weird sensation in my chest after she pet me, perhaps I have a heart after all. Or perhaps it was just the beginnings of anaphylactic shock?

That was not the only untoward thing which occurred today, I had to guard the house against a stranger today. Mila and I had to join forces against a common foe, Joann the babysitter. Mila spent all of her energy diverting the babysitter so I could move in and out without her noticing. Against my better judgement, I was impressed with Mila's tactics. She cried, she screamed, and made the babysitter watch her all day, she barely even got a nap in. Finally the short hair arrived and calmed the crisis. The Mila, her job done, took a long deserved nap.

All in all, it was a tiring day which took vigilance and perseverance. What will tomorrow bring?